London Leisures
Day 1.70833 (April 11th): It's De-London
Oof. So there's still a lot to say about London!
So the problem with writing these weeks later is that memories can be hard to recollect when they're all piled on one another. I'll try my best?
Why did I take a picture of a bus stop? Oh, because I've gotten dozens of emails pertaining to this show coming to Broadway from London, where it was reasonably popular. Except don't they realize that British humor is different than American humor? That's why I fail so much in America but thrive in Britain! :)
Since I am a huge nerd, I am therefore a huge fan of CGP Grey. I've mentioned him a couple of times in this blog before. Anyway, this is the City of London seal. What is the City of London? 'm sure Grey can explain it better here.
So I had a ticket to the London Eye, but it wasn't until 7:30 pm--sunset time. However, since the matinee was basically over by 5:00 pm, that meant I had time to kill. Problem is, just like in Paris (and kind of like in DC), the city is practically shutting down. No more tea time. No more open museums.
Some London wanderings? Sure, why not?
So I was walking around talking pictures of vaguely famous-looking buildings, and I stumbled upon a wedding. In a few days, you'll see why this is even funnier in retrospect.
No royal wedding, but this family was pretty posh.
This also makes me realize why you can't get married in a place like London, Paris, Rome, or even New York City: tourists will take a bunch of pictures of your special day, and that's kind of weird. True, I am one of those tourists, but it's because I have points to prove to you guys! Or that's what I tell myself.
Fortunately, no marriages at the divorce court today.
Oooo, pretty flowers.
Artsy fartsy shots.
Always so many goddamn saints. Wait, is that sacrilegious? Eh, I blame Joyce.
When I first saw these, I wondered if a tour group had come to gawk at the wedding party. Turns out, I wasn't entirely wrong...
Not meant FOR gawking at the wedding party; meant for the wedding party TO gawk at us. Well, I suppose if I were to get married in London, I would rather hire a red double-decker bus to drive the wedding party. I'm not even kidding.
Side Note: What is it with the British and wearing hats to weddings?
This British tree is wearing a hula skirt.
Just searched Google to help me identify this building. Came up with six different churches. Oy vey.
The phallic landmark doesn't look as impressive in a weird perspective comparison.
Is it still an alcove when it's outside?
What is it with churches and their terrible judgment with placing signs?
"If I see the Palace of Westminster right now, I'm going to be really pissed.
"Shit."
Things Katie Willard loves: trains, bridges, and clocks.
I'm sensing some Pompidou-esque modern art at work?
Phallic jokes aside, Big Ben is really awesome.
...Sorry. I still laughed anyway.
And then this sign reminded me that Big Ben isn't even Big Ben: the cab driver eight years ago today us the clock tower is referred to St. Stephen's. But then VSauce says it's called Elizabeth Tower. Who's right???
ACG: They're both right. Well. The way I paraphrased them isn't right. TODAY it isn't called St. Stephen's Tower--but it was called that back in the days of Queen Victoria (at least by journalists). The new name is Elizabeth Tower. Anyway, Big Ben is the name of the clock itself, but not the tower. So the clock is Big Ben but the clock tower is not Big Ben. In a weird way, it reminds me of this.
Hey, look, it's Peter Pettigrew!
Something about this photo looks so magical.
Just because it's an extremely phallic monument doesn't mean I'm NOT going to take a picture with it!
I was originally going to write: How many Americans died before they wrote these warnings on the ground? And then I read about Alan Schneider and decided it probably wasn't funny. Then again, I just mentioned it by not wanting to mention it: paralipsis, man, it gets me every time.
Katie Willard's Journey Through Europe As Told By Metro/Subway/Tube signs.
Since I couldn't stop by 10 Downing Street (or even Fake 10 Downing Street), I took this shot. Not that I'm fooling myself.
The problem with flag pictures is they never fly in the wind like you want them to.
The Full Monty? Monty Python?
I'll explain this in a future post, but right now I'll pretend to be psychic. This monument it dedicated to the women of WWII, but actually...these women the monument was meant for? They weren't British. They were French. Yet this sign is in the middle of the street. In Britain.
This streets are so delightfully organized and poop-free.
Look! It's a house in Britain!
Make the L's with your hands.
"Elder White and Elder Smith! Your mission location is...France!"
"Oh, France!"
"Land of pastries!"
"And turtlenecks!"
Ah, back in Trafalgar. Except this time it wasn't freezing out, so I was able to stroll around the Square. Less crowded an St. Peter's, less oppressively hot as Tienanmen, less commercial than Times. Pretty nice as far as squares go.
Notice I didn't mention DC? That's because we like circles: Dupont, Washington. Dare to be different. Or we could have the best of both worlds with Leonardo da Vinci's help:
Haha.
At least I know now that Americans (at the NYPL) and British share the same obsession with climbing on lion statues.
Please, can I have One Day More to see all the shows on West End???
All my criticisms probably mean nothing, given that I partake in everything I say I hate. By the way, it took me forever to climb on this not-so high block. Let me set the scene:
A family was taking a picture in front of this particular Aslan. I was hovering on the periphery, uncomfortably waiting to ask them to take a photo of me. Finally, the family moved aside, and since it took the mom and grandmother painfully long to take the family picture, I enlisted the help of the 10-year-old daughter.
Now, she and her brother had been easily able to scurry on top of this block. But I have never been a stellar climber, which makes my surviving my trip to Colorado even less sense. So I was wobbling up there, tossing my purse on the top as per the kid's suggestion, and I was like, Oh, I so cannot do this. I couldn't climb trees.
But I didn't climb Mount Galena for nothing! And I couldn't let these kids half my age show me up. I summoned my strength and made it over. Wh-hoooo!
Honestly, I kind of felt like this:
Then, when faced with the prospect of climbing down, this:
Here's Britain's twin to my favorite Smithsonian: the National Portrait Gallery!
Um, that's totally a Thestral, right?
Elder Cunningham???
Uh, what happened here?
This is what British crypts look like? Damn. Now the ones outside of Notre Dame and Sacré-Cœur are seeming less impressive. This is straight out of a Robert Langdon movie.
I do not understand what's on the right. But on the left, hey, Atlas Shrugged?
Oh, don't you mean, "Saint Martin dans les champs"? I've turned into a French snob, but let's face it, who didn't see that coming?
Whoa whoa whoa nobody said anything about sacrificing.
"Raise your razor high, Sweeney!"
But...this isn't Paris!
Even your mail is royal.
But...this isn't 19th century Peking!
London birds! Do I need tuppence to buy a bag?
I wish I could converse with Oscar Wilde, but I am definitely not witty enough. I saw The Importance of Being Earnest for an assignment for my Dramatic Writing class and then just got depressed that I could never write a play like that.
Classic Katie Willard candid shot.
Classic Katie-Willard is-trying-too-hard shot.
Why aren't our fountains this fun?
This is the No. 1 way to get any nerd to go into your restaurant.
Great Scot...land Yard!
Oh, shiit...aki mushrooms.
As you can tell, I am losing steam here. Oof.
I meant it when I told you that I liked bridges.
Beautiful line from Antony and Cleopatra, which was awesome because I had just finished it for class. Haha. Strangely, no one in class liked that play. I did. But I'm a proto-hipster, so maybe it's just a natural reflex.
Europeans sure love their carousels. To be fair, they do have great metaphorical resonance.
Okay, this post is already way too damn long. The London Eye is STILL postponed. I feel like I'm blueballing you guys. Not literally. I hope too many of didn't faint. :/ Why is it I can't say dirty things?
1 comment:
OMG I literally stayed right across the street from the Sherlock Holmes!
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