Day 10: Feeling Vaguely Ripped Off

Listening to: "A Summer in Ohio" from The Last 5 Years

Before I start on today's adventures, I'll play some "ketchup," as my mentor Dr. Kenney says:

1. I think yesterday was my first experience with vomit on the Metro. Unfortunately, I've seen it in DC, so it didn't completely take me by surprise, but yeah--when there are four vacant seats on a train for no apparent reason, it's probably because there is some weird chunky, yellow substance on them. Blech. 

2. Right by the vomit was a Manny (from Modern Family) lookalike, and he was smoking a cigarette. Nicole wasn't kidding when she said that 12-year-old children smoke. It was a little disconcerting. 

3. Oh, at Shakespeare & Co., when I was paying for my books, one of the cashiers bent down after stamping my books. It looked like he was sniffing it. The guy next to him seemed equally surprised. 

"Did you sniff that book?" he asked. 

"I wasn't sniffing it. I was blowing on the stamp to make sure it dried," (Not a) Book Sniffer explained. 

"Do you get off on sniffing books?" the other guy asked, obviously not paying attention. 

(Not a) Book Sniffer looked up at me. "I don't. It's not what it looks like."

"It's okay. I don't want to know." What else could I say?

I'm pretty sure I could take all those photos in technically forbidden areas of the store because this guy was afraid I'd go out into the street and announce, "Inside there's a guy with a book sniffing fetish!"

*

Now, onto today, the day before my classes commence...

I wasn't really in a rush to get out the door, but knowing that things close early on Sundays, I trudged out the door to check out another bookstore on my radar, WH Smith. This is a British bookshop, and I just have to say that British cover art is way cooler than American cover art. Anyway. They had some American food upstairs, but no popcorn! Wailing. Nicole promised to help me find some, the saint that she is.

But, some pictures:

This cover is just much more awesome than the American version. So much more relevant to the actual book's contents as well.

Baldacci is everywhere, Auntie Sandy!

I was going to go right back home, but I spotted the Roue de Paris, and I wondered, "Why the hell not?" So for €10, I boarded this Ferris Wheel, sitting all by my lonesome in a gondola. But hey, I got to put up my feet and snap away, taking pictures of the Eiffel Tower and the obelisk right in front of me. I also felt courageous enough to finally take some selfies. Wish I could always be far away and above the world like in a Ferris Wheel.

Existential thoughts aside, when I clambered out of the gondola, this guy at the end of the ramp was like, "Say 'cheese'!" Then suddenly, bang, there was a flash. I cautiously headed down the ramp and finally saw a photo booth like at the end of the Boulder Dash ride at Lake Compounce. Oh crap. I peeked over the family in front of me, and there was the picture of me, looking utterly bewildered and kind of crazed. No way I was buying that. When the cashier asked me if I wanted to fork over €10 to get a framed picture of myself posing like a fool, I just replied, "Ah, I don't think I want to remember that face." She laughed.

Anyway, I forgot to mention that I FINALLY got my Navigo card. It only took...forever? And I had to go to several Metro stations, only to be confronted by French bureaucrats who pointed in frustration at their computer screens. When I finally came across a gentil employee, he gave me my card, and then I went off to the little photo booth to take a picture for the card. Well. The machine sucked up my €5 banknote, never to be seen again. I hit buttons repeatedly and in Morse code, desperate to find where my money went, but it was in the Bermuda Triangle by that point. Anyway, I carefully inserted €1 coins, and the machine flashed a giant red oval on the screen, apparently in which I was supposed to place my head. Now, the glare in the booth made it impossible to see, so this is my Navigo card, and you can all laugh hysterically when you see it because even I'm cringing:

Ugh. :/

Since I've already got you guys rire-ing up the place, here's some more:

 I guess this means I can pass for a Frenchman with a moustache, non?

Well, look at this deliciousness of chocolat et banane and weep if you laughed at the above photos. It occurred to me that I was digging into this crepe with the voracity of a hungry wolf, but come on--chocolate and bananas. I think I can forgive myself. 

Now, that, is why I take the good camera out to seemingly random places. You just can't beat this.

And, then, of course, there are the obligatory selfies...

 Pics, so it totally DID happen. Aw yeah...

So this day set me back dozens of euros: the Navigo card, the greedy photo booth, the overpriced British literature, the Ferris Bueller Wheel ride, the messy crepe... Then I had to take a taxi back because my day pass Metro tickets weren't working, and I sure wasn't buying anymore of those, not after I wrangled forever to get my Navigo photo taken! Ugh. I guess I'll be living off yogurt tonight.

Well, time to try my hand at washing clothes. I'm wishing myself bonne chance.

P.S. Alyssa...

That pigeon has a nice neck...

 These pigeons have nice necks...

ALL these pigeons have nice necks! Incroyable!

P.P.S. I also saw the National Assembly today, which made me think of John Green and his wonderful French Revolution lesson.