Day 43: Voyeurism at Versailles

Listening to: "Pandemonium" from the musical 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Yes, my mother and I spent the day at the overly ostentatious (much like my adjectives) Versailles. Given that we went on a random Tuesday, it was basically empty. Well, not literally. But basically. It was so refreshing to be able to walk out into this square and not feel squashed. So even though I get free train fare on the weekends, maybe I need to learn to suck it up and go during the week so I can feel less frustrated.

Observations About Versaille the 2nd Time Around

1. _____ tourists have no respect. They don't understand personal space. Now, I'm not quite sure if I'm just blissfully forgetting whether tourists in Washington, DC are as rude, but it sure feels like they aren't. There is countless shoving and frustrated sighs from these tourists. So they can stand for hours taking countless selfies, but if I step up to take a shot, it's barbaric behavior. Yep. Seems legit.

2. Speaking of selfies, this sign needs to be added EVERYWHERE. It should be a law, in fact:

I remember the days when I thought selfie sticks were a useless but funny invention. You know, like the Snuggie. But they're actually quite annoying, not because of the narcissism but because they are actually dangerous. People just swing these things around without worrying if your head is nearby. Ouch. 

I read an article in which "narcissistick" users explained their reasoning. They claimed it's too "awkward" and "uncomfortable" to approach a stranger and ask he or she to take a picture of you and your friends. Now, I'm as socially awkward as the next person, but asking someone to take your picture is not that big a deal. I'm not pulling out a promise ring. Besides, for those devil's advocates who insist that all people will take your camera and steal it, I have a very simple solution: always, always ask someone to take your picture who has a better camera/phone than you. Because why the hell would they want to steal yours when they have a detachable zoom lens? And don't worry--there's always a better camera than yours.

3. Now, like any other person, I totally wish I could rent out Versailles and just wander the Hall of Mirrors by myself. But I am not a rich despot like King Louis XIV/XV/XVI, so I have to compromise. It's inevitable that people are going to end up in your shot. If you want a perfectly empty shot, there are plenty on the Internet. I mean, yes, I know it looks ridiculous when I kneel down and shoot a picture of a statue from below, but if I'm going to take my own pictures, I'd like them to be different than any generic ones I can find online. Plus, it's fun. It's fun to bounce around and not worry about where people are standing. Let them complain.

4. I know I'm such a hypocrite for preaching this, but patience is key. The front of the Hall of Mirrors is packed because tourists feel the incredible urge to take a picture ASAP. Guess what? If you walk to the end of the hall, you can get a nice wide shot, all because no one is there. It's really amazing. This logic also applies to when people are watching videos in the rooms. Just wait one round, and then you get a seat in front. Trust me, it took me years to learn this, so I just want to tell you all now. Your lives will become much easier.

5. Because I am just mean, I get a sick joy when people try to walk outside my frame, but then I'm like, "Ha! I'm taking a panorama, so you actually are just going to be featured in this whole picture." Then they panic and run. It's really quite amusing, but I've been told that my sense of humor is slightly twisted.

6. I always talk to myself, trying to explain the reasoning behind why I'm taking a photo for so long--I constantly feel the need to distinguish myself from the other _____ tourists. Now it just occurred to me that they probably think I'm a schizophrenic, much like certain boys who read your obviously satirical essay in the most literal sense. Anywaaaaaaay. Yeah. Oh well. It's not like I have to have dinner with them later.

7. This just made me sad: one of the Chinese girls we saw had her eyes altered. You know. Because Asians are pressured to look "normal" (aka Caucasian), they get surgery done to make their eyes wider. It makes me sick to my stomach. It's so sad.

8. THE COUP DE GRÂCE: Dessert!

Hot chocolate and macaroons! So beautiful and awesome.

Even better than Serendipity Frozen Hot Chocolate. Controversial, but I said it!

Look how cute! We had four...but Mom ate the black currant one. The others: pistachio, raspberry, and chocolate passion fruit. Can you match the color with the flavor???