Sorry! But this will be worth the wait.
Yesterday, my best friend from GW, Matt, arrived in Paris. Given that he didn't speak any French, I tried to ensure that he wouldn't get lost or agreeing to anything he didn't want to do. And since we're both clearly geniuses, we forget about the one-hour time change from London to Paris. So he arrived at the apartment at about 3:30 pm, or 16:30 in the swanky European way.
The Louvre was out, but since Jamie and Loren wanted to go to the Catacombs at 6:00 pm anyway, we just decided to start the Parisian adventure then. I helped Matt successfully buy a weekly Navigo pass--so worth the 30 euros it pretty much costs--sounding a lot better at my French than I know I really am. We smoothly transitioned from Ligne 12 to Ligne 4: this was looking good. And now that we wouldn't have to run around the area like chickens with our heads cut off looking for the Catacombs entrance, we all actually met on time at 6:00 pm. Yippee!
Jamie is very proud of being a tourist, so she bought one of those "gold" souvenir coins--with a skull and bones on it. The perfect combination of bling and macabre. These coins are actually cooler than those penny pressers in the States. They look like medallions--or Galleons from Harry Potter. And now that I've mentioned Harry Potter, I'll move on.
Walking down into the Catacombs was very claustrophobic and creepy, but after the initial shock, we were like, "Uh... Where are the bones?" For a while we just saw stone and steel bars. I mean, that was plenty creepy for me, but we were there for a reason. Loren, Jamie, and I fully admitted that we were afraid of zombies appearing, so we forced Matt to walk in front. Our excuse was that he was the tallest, but we just wanted a human shield. As thanks, Jamie promised to name her fourth child after Matt if Matt survive the possible zombie attack. What admiration we have. :)
I did my best to translate the messages. I usually failed.
"In my own little corner..."
Group shot! Left to right: Loren, me, Jamie, Matt
"My own... my love... my precious."
Keeping it classy, Jamie.
Those delinquents are already behind bars. Sigh.
There were several models like these. I guess the workers had to do something. Unfortunately, one of the architects of these mini-cities was killed during a cave-in. Oof.
Literally means: "Bath of the feet of the workers." Because it's dirty water? I hope they didn't put their feet in there...
Silhouettes are cool.
As we entered the skeleton area, we somehow decided to channel our inner tourists.
The sign above Matt's head? It literally reads:
STOP
HERE IS THE EMPIRE OF THE DEAD
So of course we all had to pose underneath it. Pretty good, even if it's no "abandon all hope, ye who enter here."
So history of the Catacombs. Based on cursory research, the four of us determined that the Catacombs were constructed before the skeletons. These bones were moved here because the Black Plague ravaged Paris, making all the churches overflow with bodies. Some had to be moved down here for space. Unfortunately, they didn't really care to label anyone, so it's just a giant collection of unknown bones. Like a much creepier Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, in the mystery sense.
Them bones were scary. Yeah. I'm glad I didn't do this alone. I would've peed my pants--possibly worse.
Who said romance was dead? (Actually, the pun was unintended there. I know. I hardly believe it myself.)
We told Matt this was a perfect spot to take a date. Surprisingly, he disagreed.
"The bones of the ancient cemeteries of the Trinity and the saints were moved here in 1859..." And the rest I can't really be sure.
I hope that these guards get paid well for sitting down here in this place.
Sometimes, the bone-masons appeared to get creative.
When we came across this well, I found myself wondering, What exactly would one wish for down here? But the well is actually for practical purposes: I'm sure the reasons are better understood by my father or anyone who has more knowledge about engineering than me (so a lot of people).
Happy.
So serious.
"Guys, this is my crypt."
I don't know where I get these poses, either.
Jamie's face is terrifying here. In a good way, of course. :)
My reaction to this photo was:
This would be your reaction too, I guess.
"Don't Fall Down" has been updated to "Don't Touch That."
I think Jamie made herself queen of this place.
More Latin.
"Believe that each day is your last." Thanks for that thought, Horace. They really didn't try to roll out the welcome mat for this place, I guess. The quotes were freaky.
Finally, a real tomb.
Since we obviously thought that these were toilet seats, we had to sit on them. Jamie was the first volunteer.
They really perfected their twin-faces-from-The-Shining looks.
And now we have the round of gate keeping photos...
I suppose in a desperate attempt to make it seem like I was brave, I decided to pretend I was Blue Steel down in the Catacombs.
The photos with Matt make me look slightly less insane. Slightly.
And a trio is always good to balance things out too:
Then, like all good roommates, Jamie and I took a commemorative photo together. Just not in your typical place, like Vegas or even the Eiffel Tower...
Maybe this could be our "Come In!" sign.
Conversely, this would clearly be the "Do Not Disturb" sign. We'll make it double-sided. We're versatile.
"Wow, is the end in sight?"
Nope. It totally wasn't.
We saw this little green running man about five more times. But did we see an actual exit staircase? Nooooo. This is when we started getting worried.
Ugh:
If you have seen a dead man sometimes, always consider that the same ending is waiting for you.
Time to go!
But as you can tell, the end was totally avoiding us.
This did not appear to phase Jamie one bit.
Actual Skull & Crossbones. Beat that, Yale.
I really hate pelvis bones. So why am I showing you? Because I'm morbidly curious.
"In death, we leave everything."
Now we were facing a column of bones, and also at this point, the exit signs were just starting to point in seemingly random directions.
FINALLY we popped out, many kilometers away from where we started. And then we were face-to-face with a gift store. Kind of even more macabre. Anyway, Matt told me that there is a longer section of the Catacombs, but it's not open to the public because A.) we'd all probably keel over from exhaustion halfway through and B.) people have actually died while walking through because of falling boulders. So that could've been a possibility. I felt rather faint.
I've posted lots of photos here, so I'll cheer everyone up with a new post from that evening: Les Deux Magots. And nope, Magots is NOT pronounced like "maggots."
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